I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
