It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
