David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
