i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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