I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
