I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
