Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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