im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
