did you get engaged???
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
