Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
