Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
