if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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