Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
