nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
