so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
