I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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