vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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