I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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