i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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