Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
