Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
