My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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