make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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