i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
