Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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