bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
