My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
