The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
