mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
