I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
