my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
