i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize