Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
