Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
