I don't think brook has ever known best
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
