god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
