Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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