Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is not my ceiling
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
