You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She bit a glass in half.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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