So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
