the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
