i wish there were pregnant emoticons
please come you make the beer taste better
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I will pee on everything he values.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
