im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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