No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
