Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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