I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
