Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
