So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
