Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
