I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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